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Shut Up

by Two Knights

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While poisoning the pain away, I drowned every thought but one, and all my attempts to kill it only made it stronger until my entire head was screaming "you never really loved me." The small piece of heart you made me realize I had left died when you let them in. I wish I was enough for you.
There are so many better people worse off than me, but I'm stuck focusing on things that will never matter. Fuck the bullshit. Help your friends.
I found a purpose and I'm clinging to it, because it's the only thing keeping me alive. If I'm not meant to end up happy at least I can say I died trying.
Clark Can't 01:39
There is something uncomfortably cold about sleeping alone. As I lay awake at night I can't help but hope that you're not shivering in your sleep. If you want me to I swear I'll keep you close. I'll keep you warm.
I use to have these stupid fantasies where you'd fall in love with me and we'd make each other happy. Now I know that it could never happen, because when reality sets in I have nothing to offer. I have a new fantasy now, one where death is a never ending dream and it's there that I'll find you. It's there that I'll be everything I always wanted to be. It's there that we'll be together forever.
You were using sex as a weapon before I even knew we were fighting, but I can't blame you for how much it hurt. You never knew how fragile I was, how ready to fall into what I thought was love.
A sudden urge comes with a nagging memory I tried so hard to blackout. We talked about seeing the world together while you lit up on your front porch. We're not doing what we dreamed we'd do. What I dreamed we'd do at least. This cigarette is the closest I can get to breathing you in.
I'll never mean as much to you as you do to me.
Dangerously 01:04
Is the endless pit in my chest, that swells when I think of death, where I go when I cease to exist? And will all of me implode into myself until nothing is left and all evidence of my life is erased from this world? Probably.
The walls I put up made me feel more alone. The higher I built them the more I wanted to climb, jump, and let the ground take my breath away. If you hadn't been there I wouldn't be here.
I hate everything that I still love about you.
I called your name at night crying because I was afraid of not waking up in the morning. Your pacifying stories of salvation only grew the panic in my head. I'm too scared to believe you. I can't bear the thought of living forever. I can't.
Just fucking listen. You can hear my brain ruin me with the truth I tried to bury because I'm too weak to face it. You left because of me. You're never coming back because of me. You regret me.


vinyl available on Count Your Lucky Stars' bigcartel

all songs written and performed by two knights
Released on April 8th, 2014 on Count Your Lucky Stars Records.
Recorded/Mixed/Mastered by Michael Briggs at Civil Recording in Denton, TX in December 2013.


released April 8, 2014


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Two Knights Denton, Texas

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